If I reflect deeper, I don't think I have been very committed to the Singapore Memory CAS group.
I joined in January with loaded enthusiasm about documenting Singaporean history which I am very interested in. But I think I let a lot of my other commitments, like academics and the arts where I am more actively involved in and demand more of my time, get in the way of producing and staying committed to the project.
I believe that we were supposed to come up with a few pages for the eBook that everyone is contributing to. Honestly as one of my minor CAS projects, I put that very low on my priority list and set about completing everything on that list before I started on my pages. In retrospect. It would have probably only taken me an hour to complete if I had the patience and drive, but sheer laziness and procrastination made me delay it till the last minute.
I will admit that I was tempted to submit a very shoddy piece of work to my peers, which I did complete in time. But I decided against it. I thought about how I would have felt if I were in Shruti or Hsin Yee's shoes if they saw my lack of drive and commitment. So I held back, and submitted, what I think is a better set of pages to them, two weeks late. I know now that I did impede on the project schedule and that in future I should never do this again. Because it is not only doing my peers and this project a big dis-service, but I am also letting myself down. Because I know that I can produce better work than what I am doing now and that I need to up my game on this project even if it is one of my minor CAS projects.
I shouldn't let myself fall into the trap of complacency and procrastination. I find that I am doing that a lot lately even with my academics and that is really an area that I need to change.
Thursday, 8 August 2013
Climbing CAS
I joined the Rock-Climbing CAS group because after the climbing session we had during ExE, I was really interested to join. At first I think I tired myself out very easily, I would stay stuck on the wall, on a tile, for a while before I moved on to another tile. As I attended more sessions and climbed more walls, I learn that I was not angling my body in the right way when I was climbing. After talking to a few of my more experienced climbing friends and teachers, I learnt that I was letting gravity work against me as I climbed up, by sticking my body out towards the ground instead of keeping my body close to the wall. Also, I personally learnt that once I got the momentum of climbing it became a lot easier to climb the wall instead of crawling up a bit and then pausing for a minute before going up again.
I also noticed that the more experienced climbers mapped out their routes first before they went up, I can also learn from that aspect of rock-climbing and learn to take things slowly and plan them out before just jumping into them. I learnt that I also tended to climb better when I roughly planned my route before hand instead of climbing instinctively.
After attending a few sessions of the rock-climbing CAS, I think I can climb up the walls a lot easier now. Especially after we've done a very intense strength training and body conditioning session. That session in particular really tested my endurance and strength. I find that I have quite weak forearms but my core is still reasonably strong so I need to train more to keep those muscles fit for climbing.
Honestly I was a little surprised when Grace sent the email and said I was in the CAS group. Because to me I don't think I'm a very good climber and I think there are a lot of areas that I need to improve on. But Grace said that the people who tried out were assessed according to attitude, commitment and potential. I hope that I can work on those aspects of my life, commitment and attitude slowly through this CAS group. Because of the strict training regime, I think I would be pushing myself to be more disciplined in this group. I'm very heartened to be a part of this CAS to not only learn a new skill of climbing, but also to work on my areas of discipline and strength that I feel are lacking in my life.
I also noticed that the more experienced climbers mapped out their routes first before they went up, I can also learn from that aspect of rock-climbing and learn to take things slowly and plan them out before just jumping into them. I learnt that I also tended to climb better when I roughly planned my route before hand instead of climbing instinctively.
After attending a few sessions of the rock-climbing CAS, I think I can climb up the walls a lot easier now. Especially after we've done a very intense strength training and body conditioning session. That session in particular really tested my endurance and strength. I find that I have quite weak forearms but my core is still reasonably strong so I need to train more to keep those muscles fit for climbing.
Honestly I was a little surprised when Grace sent the email and said I was in the CAS group. Because to me I don't think I'm a very good climber and I think there are a lot of areas that I need to improve on. But Grace said that the people who tried out were assessed according to attitude, commitment and potential. I hope that I can work on those aspects of my life, commitment and attitude slowly through this CAS group. Because of the strict training regime, I think I would be pushing myself to be more disciplined in this group. I'm very heartened to be a part of this CAS to not only learn a new skill of climbing, but also to work on my areas of discipline and strength that I feel are lacking in my life.
Wednesday, 31 July 2013
Alexandria Art Cart
I'm finding it very hard to still be motivated for the Art Cart project. I thought that we were supposed to have our proposals in by the start of the June Holidays and meet up to finalise the project so that we could get done before August at least. But, not having heard about it for a long time from Jia Cheng, I gradually forgot about this project entirely because of other commitments, I think I should learn to keep myself more on task when I work with my different CAS projects.
I think that as a group, we should try to be a bit more committed and focused on the outcomes of this Art Cart project. At the same time, I also know that I should have been more committed too, although I am only a member. I think that I should learn from this experience and in further projects I should remember to be more accountable to other people and other organizations that I am working with and for.
I think this speaks to me a lot because I learn know to be more committed and remember to be more committed in my future endeavors. As a response to taking initiative, I have emailed Ms Tan on Jia Cheng's behalf to get things going. I also need to remember that we are working with people with their own busy schedules so we all must be understanding. I did talk to Wei Qi and Jia Cheng on whether we can build and make a program for the Art Cart and hand the activity over to future SAC groups so that they can have an opportunity to be exposed to this form of service through the arts.
I think that as a group, we should try to be a bit more committed and focused on the outcomes of this Art Cart project. At the same time, I also know that I should have been more committed too, although I am only a member. I think that I should learn from this experience and in further projects I should remember to be more accountable to other people and other organizations that I am working with and for.
I think this speaks to me a lot because I learn know to be more committed and remember to be more committed in my future endeavors. As a response to taking initiative, I have emailed Ms Tan on Jia Cheng's behalf to get things going. I also need to remember that we are working with people with their own busy schedules so we all must be understanding. I did talk to Wei Qi and Jia Cheng on whether we can build and make a program for the Art Cart and hand the activity over to future SAC groups so that they can have an opportunity to be exposed to this form of service through the arts.
GPS
I think that GPS Cebu has really helped me to grow.
Not just physically but mentally and spiritually. Through this journey in GPS I think I've discovered what I want to do in life and what I hope to pursue as a career. I am very drawn to the idea of going into academia and maybe becoming a teacher.
From my family upbringing, parents being Professors for years, I always knew that I wanted to go into an academic field. I've seen the passion and love my parents have for the fields that they are in and the willingness that they have to share that passion with others has always inspired me. But having to sit through education in a normal or as we like to call it in SOTA "mainstream" school, I found that this sort of passion was almost never embodied in any of my primary school teachers. Safe for a few english teachers that inspired me greatly to read and write in english, most of my other subject teachers treated the profession like any other 9 to 5 job. They would come in, teach, give homework and leave. They wouldn't get to know us as kids, much less as people, they wouldn't even interact with us outside of school. This was the same trend I witnessed when all of my other team-mates presented on their unhappy times in primary school. Which left me questioning the purpose and roles of a teacher, and when I was younger, I used to be very upset by it.
I've always felt that as teachers, it is not merely getting a job done, but they have the futures in the palms of their hands. It used to anger me when teachers would blatantly not care about the student's wellbeing when words are being said. Granted that sometimes students do try to step over the teachers, I think that kids, primary school kids in particular, should be treated with a lot more care. This, of course, isn't just limited to only the domain of teaching, but rather how we treat the people around us. We may want to get things done, and strive purely for the tangible results, but in a sense we ignore the people around us. We ignore that the people that we have around us are still people at the end of the day; and people should be treated with love and respect even when they sometimes do not deserve it.
I'm very glad to say that the disillusionment and perhaps even anger at teachers and friends has been quelled. During GPS Cebu, I've had the privilege to be a part of this team, but I am especially grateful to have been led by and taught by, very amazing teachers who have taught valuable lessons, very selflessly. To me, it was very heartening to see the same teachers, whom I felt very distant from share deeply with us. To know that they did trust us with some of their most personal memories and believed in us despite us failing and not being the best we possibly could be.
That is what I aspire to be, not a teacher specifically but someone who loves and can love as deeply as these people have. I want to be someone who shares ideas with others, teaching them as I learn from them too.
I found this comic on Tumblr that really encapsulates why I really respect teachers in their own right. I don't think that it should be limited to teachers alone but the passion for the profession is what I really want to have when I graduate and get a job. I don't want to be in a job that just pays well, but one that I am passionate about.
Because that is what I think is the most important at this point in time, not necessarily tangible material results, but the more important ones of care and love.
Not just physically but mentally and spiritually. Through this journey in GPS I think I've discovered what I want to do in life and what I hope to pursue as a career. I am very drawn to the idea of going into academia and maybe becoming a teacher.
From my family upbringing, parents being Professors for years, I always knew that I wanted to go into an academic field. I've seen the passion and love my parents have for the fields that they are in and the willingness that they have to share that passion with others has always inspired me. But having to sit through education in a normal or as we like to call it in SOTA "mainstream" school, I found that this sort of passion was almost never embodied in any of my primary school teachers. Safe for a few english teachers that inspired me greatly to read and write in english, most of my other subject teachers treated the profession like any other 9 to 5 job. They would come in, teach, give homework and leave. They wouldn't get to know us as kids, much less as people, they wouldn't even interact with us outside of school. This was the same trend I witnessed when all of my other team-mates presented on their unhappy times in primary school. Which left me questioning the purpose and roles of a teacher, and when I was younger, I used to be very upset by it.
I've always felt that as teachers, it is not merely getting a job done, but they have the futures in the palms of their hands. It used to anger me when teachers would blatantly not care about the student's wellbeing when words are being said. Granted that sometimes students do try to step over the teachers, I think that kids, primary school kids in particular, should be treated with a lot more care. This, of course, isn't just limited to only the domain of teaching, but rather how we treat the people around us. We may want to get things done, and strive purely for the tangible results, but in a sense we ignore the people around us. We ignore that the people that we have around us are still people at the end of the day; and people should be treated with love and respect even when they sometimes do not deserve it.
I'm very glad to say that the disillusionment and perhaps even anger at teachers and friends has been quelled. During GPS Cebu, I've had the privilege to be a part of this team, but I am especially grateful to have been led by and taught by, very amazing teachers who have taught valuable lessons, very selflessly. To me, it was very heartening to see the same teachers, whom I felt very distant from share deeply with us. To know that they did trust us with some of their most personal memories and believed in us despite us failing and not being the best we possibly could be.
That is what I aspire to be, not a teacher specifically but someone who loves and can love as deeply as these people have. I want to be someone who shares ideas with others, teaching them as I learn from them too.
I found this comic on Tumblr that really encapsulates why I really respect teachers in their own right. I don't think that it should be limited to teachers alone but the passion for the profession is what I really want to have when I graduate and get a job. I don't want to be in a job that just pays well, but one that I am passionate about.
“Some people think only intellect counts: knowing how to solve problems, knowing how to get by, knowing how to identify an advantage and seize it. But the functions of intellect are insufficient without courage, love, friendship, compassion, and empathy.” - Dean Koontz
I think that this quote from Dean Koontz summarizes my view on school right now. I know that I may not be the best academically, with the best grades or match up to the standards of a model student. But I ultimately want to be someone who loves other people and inspires that same love irregardless.
This is why I am very grateful for the opportunity that I have had to study in SOTA and have a different view of education than most Singaporeans. With the skills that I learn and the diploma that I am working towards, I hope that I can finish university and give back to the places that I have learnt from. Hopefully I can too inspire those around me too.
UniFEM #1
We just had our first meetings with the whole planning team and Ms Mrinalini and Erny from UNIFem. Being a leader, even as a vice, I think that my previous leading experiences has refined me into being a more organized and motivated person. Personally I find myself more organized in outlining proposals and keeping the team organized.
Sometimes I feel as though I'm the main person keeping the team on-track with deadlines and delegations. I acknowledge that Selma is our main leader, but I do know that she is not very organized and sometimes a little erratic at times. That is probably why we work quite well together, I balance out Selma's disorganization with my slightly better organization. This too, shows that I have grown a lot since I first took on leadership roles in OSL, when I was very disorganized and had to rely more on experienced leaders like Yin Ying or Jia Wen.
Now with Selma I realise that she deals more with getting our contacts and brainstorming while I get her ideas organized and put those plans into action. It's funny how I've grown perhaps to become a little more organized to better suit the task I'm assigned to. This process may not be a very huge event, but this has shown that I am growing to take on better responsibilities as a person and even as a leader.
Although I am very enthusiastic about our project, I can't help feel as though we may not have enough time to plan for the event. If I do the math and count the number of weeks we have to plan and set up this event. We have less than 3 weeks to get the whole event with location, booths, people and overall logistics settled by National Day. With our very short run-way I think the whole event may not come together even with our planning. I am having my doubts but I will try to stay committed as a leader to this event.
Sometimes I feel as though I'm the main person keeping the team on-track with deadlines and delegations. I acknowledge that Selma is our main leader, but I do know that she is not very organized and sometimes a little erratic at times. That is probably why we work quite well together, I balance out Selma's disorganization with my slightly better organization. This too, shows that I have grown a lot since I first took on leadership roles in OSL, when I was very disorganized and had to rely more on experienced leaders like Yin Ying or Jia Wen.
Now with Selma I realise that she deals more with getting our contacts and brainstorming while I get her ideas organized and put those plans into action. It's funny how I've grown perhaps to become a little more organized to better suit the task I'm assigned to. This process may not be a very huge event, but this has shown that I am growing to take on better responsibilities as a person and even as a leader.
Although I am very enthusiastic about our project, I can't help feel as though we may not have enough time to plan for the event. If I do the math and count the number of weeks we have to plan and set up this event. We have less than 3 weeks to get the whole event with location, booths, people and overall logistics settled by National Day. With our very short run-way I think the whole event may not come together even with our planning. I am having my doubts but I will try to stay committed as a leader to this event.
Tuesday, 23 July 2013
Curatorial Project 2014
We met up as a group with our supervisor, Ms Adeline, to discuss our ideas for the project. Our main concept for the exhibition was to jump start a dialogue on Singaporean Identity. Because personally I feel that our exhibition should be grounded in a Singaporean context because that would not be like other exhibitions that are just left in a limbo - those that you go to and don't strike a chord with you and are there just for the sake of being there and showcasing art.
Because that doesn't strike me as what art should be. I think that art should be the collective conscious or at least the social conscious of society. I don't think that art should merely be set in the works or dictated by the people who make it. I think that art should be a two-way dialogue between the artist and the audience and then between the audience themselves. I think the art works and shows that are the most meaningful are the ones that we end up talking about, or resonate the most with us. The ones that sit there purely for aesthetic or conceptual basis without ever touching a personal emotionally or at least stirring up some sort of dialogue is, to me, a failed exhibition.
Even though I think that I should not count my chickens too soon before they hatch, I think that as an artist, a curator and a student from SOTA, we should be the people to start the ball rolling. Even if it is a hard task that we will be undertaking.
I feel that this entire process is a great link to my Extended Essay and my Visual Arts Investigation Work Book research. I realise that I am not very drawn or stirred by big conceptual ideas of the West that my other peers are drawn to. I am more interested in a very personal and intrinsic ideas that are perhaps more Singaporean. This entire process has helped me find renewed purpose as an artist in Singapore. Perhaps through this exhibition
Because that doesn't strike me as what art should be. I think that art should be the collective conscious or at least the social conscious of society. I don't think that art should merely be set in the works or dictated by the people who make it. I think that art should be a two-way dialogue between the artist and the audience and then between the audience themselves. I think the art works and shows that are the most meaningful are the ones that we end up talking about, or resonate the most with us. The ones that sit there purely for aesthetic or conceptual basis without ever touching a personal emotionally or at least stirring up some sort of dialogue is, to me, a failed exhibition.
Even though I think that I should not count my chickens too soon before they hatch, I think that as an artist, a curator and a student from SOTA, we should be the people to start the ball rolling. Even if it is a hard task that we will be undertaking.
I feel that this entire process is a great link to my Extended Essay and my Visual Arts Investigation Work Book research. I realise that I am not very drawn or stirred by big conceptual ideas of the West that my other peers are drawn to. I am more interested in a very personal and intrinsic ideas that are perhaps more Singaporean. This entire process has helped me find renewed purpose as an artist in Singapore. Perhaps through this exhibition
Tuesday, 16 July 2013
NaNoWriMo 2
Being a part of the NaNoWriMo group has really challenged me to write more. Before I joined this CAS group I used to be very sporadic in my creative writing and pen down two or three sentences before I would just stop writing. Being a part of this CAS group has challenged me to be more creative in how I tackle creative writing and not just sit by waiting for inspiration to hit me.
I remember that we were tasked to engage a writing piece for the school's next LOOP edition and we came up with the idea to work around the sentence: "These are my friends" and structure our individual pieces around this central statement to submit it. I clearly remember being very unmotivated to writing anything down even though the deadline was looming because I did not feel inspired. When I reflect deeper, I think that problem arises in me a lot when I'm doing work. I tend to get distracted or effected emotionally when I'm stressed out with things around me and stop working entirely. It's a very bad habit that I've become aware of since I've started Year 5 and I'm trying very hard to build up discipline in these areas of my life.
When the deadline was due, I remember I was at a church camp and during one of the breaks I was lying on the floor with my email open and trying to pen some ideas down to send to Megan who was chasing us frantically for our pieces. I just typed out a rough idea of my piece before sending it to her because I remember that it was a first draft and that I didn't need for the work to be 'perfect'. I think that is another aspect of myself that I need to start changing. When I reflect deeper I think I get very disheartened when my works aren't produced to the standard of which I want and when I feel that it is a bad work, I loose motivation instead of making my work better.
I think there is an important point to note here, that I need to learn that I don't need to be such a perfectionist when it comes to making creative works and that I shouldn't let my emotions come in the way of my work and that this is applicable to all my areas of study.
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