I'm finding it very hard to still be motivated for the Art Cart project. I thought that we were supposed to have our proposals in by the start of the June Holidays and meet up to finalise the project so that we could get done before August at least. But, not having heard about it for a long time from Jia Cheng, I gradually forgot about this project entirely because of other commitments, I think I should learn to keep myself more on task when I work with my different CAS projects.
I think that as a group, we should try to be a bit more committed and focused on the outcomes of this Art Cart project. At the same time, I also know that I should have been more committed too, although I am only a member. I think that I should learn from this experience and in further projects I should remember to be more accountable to other people and other organizations that I am working with and for.
I think this speaks to me a lot because I learn know to be more committed and remember to be more committed in my future endeavors. As a response to taking initiative, I have emailed Ms Tan on Jia Cheng's behalf to get things going. I also need to remember that we are working with people with their own busy schedules so we all must be understanding. I did talk to Wei Qi and Jia Cheng on whether we can build and make a program for the Art Cart and hand the activity over to future SAC groups so that they can have an opportunity to be exposed to this form of service through the arts.
Wednesday, 31 July 2013
GPS
I think that GPS Cebu has really helped me to grow.
Not just physically but mentally and spiritually. Through this journey in GPS I think I've discovered what I want to do in life and what I hope to pursue as a career. I am very drawn to the idea of going into academia and maybe becoming a teacher.
From my family upbringing, parents being Professors for years, I always knew that I wanted to go into an academic field. I've seen the passion and love my parents have for the fields that they are in and the willingness that they have to share that passion with others has always inspired me. But having to sit through education in a normal or as we like to call it in SOTA "mainstream" school, I found that this sort of passion was almost never embodied in any of my primary school teachers. Safe for a few english teachers that inspired me greatly to read and write in english, most of my other subject teachers treated the profession like any other 9 to 5 job. They would come in, teach, give homework and leave. They wouldn't get to know us as kids, much less as people, they wouldn't even interact with us outside of school. This was the same trend I witnessed when all of my other team-mates presented on their unhappy times in primary school. Which left me questioning the purpose and roles of a teacher, and when I was younger, I used to be very upset by it.
I've always felt that as teachers, it is not merely getting a job done, but they have the futures in the palms of their hands. It used to anger me when teachers would blatantly not care about the student's wellbeing when words are being said. Granted that sometimes students do try to step over the teachers, I think that kids, primary school kids in particular, should be treated with a lot more care. This, of course, isn't just limited to only the domain of teaching, but rather how we treat the people around us. We may want to get things done, and strive purely for the tangible results, but in a sense we ignore the people around us. We ignore that the people that we have around us are still people at the end of the day; and people should be treated with love and respect even when they sometimes do not deserve it.
I'm very glad to say that the disillusionment and perhaps even anger at teachers and friends has been quelled. During GPS Cebu, I've had the privilege to be a part of this team, but I am especially grateful to have been led by and taught by, very amazing teachers who have taught valuable lessons, very selflessly. To me, it was very heartening to see the same teachers, whom I felt very distant from share deeply with us. To know that they did trust us with some of their most personal memories and believed in us despite us failing and not being the best we possibly could be.
That is what I aspire to be, not a teacher specifically but someone who loves and can love as deeply as these people have. I want to be someone who shares ideas with others, teaching them as I learn from them too.
I found this comic on Tumblr that really encapsulates why I really respect teachers in their own right. I don't think that it should be limited to teachers alone but the passion for the profession is what I really want to have when I graduate and get a job. I don't want to be in a job that just pays well, but one that I am passionate about.
Because that is what I think is the most important at this point in time, not necessarily tangible material results, but the more important ones of care and love.
Not just physically but mentally and spiritually. Through this journey in GPS I think I've discovered what I want to do in life and what I hope to pursue as a career. I am very drawn to the idea of going into academia and maybe becoming a teacher.
From my family upbringing, parents being Professors for years, I always knew that I wanted to go into an academic field. I've seen the passion and love my parents have for the fields that they are in and the willingness that they have to share that passion with others has always inspired me. But having to sit through education in a normal or as we like to call it in SOTA "mainstream" school, I found that this sort of passion was almost never embodied in any of my primary school teachers. Safe for a few english teachers that inspired me greatly to read and write in english, most of my other subject teachers treated the profession like any other 9 to 5 job. They would come in, teach, give homework and leave. They wouldn't get to know us as kids, much less as people, they wouldn't even interact with us outside of school. This was the same trend I witnessed when all of my other team-mates presented on their unhappy times in primary school. Which left me questioning the purpose and roles of a teacher, and when I was younger, I used to be very upset by it.
I've always felt that as teachers, it is not merely getting a job done, but they have the futures in the palms of their hands. It used to anger me when teachers would blatantly not care about the student's wellbeing when words are being said. Granted that sometimes students do try to step over the teachers, I think that kids, primary school kids in particular, should be treated with a lot more care. This, of course, isn't just limited to only the domain of teaching, but rather how we treat the people around us. We may want to get things done, and strive purely for the tangible results, but in a sense we ignore the people around us. We ignore that the people that we have around us are still people at the end of the day; and people should be treated with love and respect even when they sometimes do not deserve it.
I'm very glad to say that the disillusionment and perhaps even anger at teachers and friends has been quelled. During GPS Cebu, I've had the privilege to be a part of this team, but I am especially grateful to have been led by and taught by, very amazing teachers who have taught valuable lessons, very selflessly. To me, it was very heartening to see the same teachers, whom I felt very distant from share deeply with us. To know that they did trust us with some of their most personal memories and believed in us despite us failing and not being the best we possibly could be.
That is what I aspire to be, not a teacher specifically but someone who loves and can love as deeply as these people have. I want to be someone who shares ideas with others, teaching them as I learn from them too.
I found this comic on Tumblr that really encapsulates why I really respect teachers in their own right. I don't think that it should be limited to teachers alone but the passion for the profession is what I really want to have when I graduate and get a job. I don't want to be in a job that just pays well, but one that I am passionate about.
“Some people think only intellect counts: knowing how to solve problems, knowing how to get by, knowing how to identify an advantage and seize it. But the functions of intellect are insufficient without courage, love, friendship, compassion, and empathy.” - Dean Koontz
I think that this quote from Dean Koontz summarizes my view on school right now. I know that I may not be the best academically, with the best grades or match up to the standards of a model student. But I ultimately want to be someone who loves other people and inspires that same love irregardless.
This is why I am very grateful for the opportunity that I have had to study in SOTA and have a different view of education than most Singaporeans. With the skills that I learn and the diploma that I am working towards, I hope that I can finish university and give back to the places that I have learnt from. Hopefully I can too inspire those around me too.
UniFEM #1
We just had our first meetings with the whole planning team and Ms Mrinalini and Erny from UNIFem. Being a leader, even as a vice, I think that my previous leading experiences has refined me into being a more organized and motivated person. Personally I find myself more organized in outlining proposals and keeping the team organized.
Sometimes I feel as though I'm the main person keeping the team on-track with deadlines and delegations. I acknowledge that Selma is our main leader, but I do know that she is not very organized and sometimes a little erratic at times. That is probably why we work quite well together, I balance out Selma's disorganization with my slightly better organization. This too, shows that I have grown a lot since I first took on leadership roles in OSL, when I was very disorganized and had to rely more on experienced leaders like Yin Ying or Jia Wen.
Now with Selma I realise that she deals more with getting our contacts and brainstorming while I get her ideas organized and put those plans into action. It's funny how I've grown perhaps to become a little more organized to better suit the task I'm assigned to. This process may not be a very huge event, but this has shown that I am growing to take on better responsibilities as a person and even as a leader.
Although I am very enthusiastic about our project, I can't help feel as though we may not have enough time to plan for the event. If I do the math and count the number of weeks we have to plan and set up this event. We have less than 3 weeks to get the whole event with location, booths, people and overall logistics settled by National Day. With our very short run-way I think the whole event may not come together even with our planning. I am having my doubts but I will try to stay committed as a leader to this event.
Sometimes I feel as though I'm the main person keeping the team on-track with deadlines and delegations. I acknowledge that Selma is our main leader, but I do know that she is not very organized and sometimes a little erratic at times. That is probably why we work quite well together, I balance out Selma's disorganization with my slightly better organization. This too, shows that I have grown a lot since I first took on leadership roles in OSL, when I was very disorganized and had to rely more on experienced leaders like Yin Ying or Jia Wen.
Now with Selma I realise that she deals more with getting our contacts and brainstorming while I get her ideas organized and put those plans into action. It's funny how I've grown perhaps to become a little more organized to better suit the task I'm assigned to. This process may not be a very huge event, but this has shown that I am growing to take on better responsibilities as a person and even as a leader.
Although I am very enthusiastic about our project, I can't help feel as though we may not have enough time to plan for the event. If I do the math and count the number of weeks we have to plan and set up this event. We have less than 3 weeks to get the whole event with location, booths, people and overall logistics settled by National Day. With our very short run-way I think the whole event may not come together even with our planning. I am having my doubts but I will try to stay committed as a leader to this event.
Tuesday, 23 July 2013
Curatorial Project 2014
We met up as a group with our supervisor, Ms Adeline, to discuss our ideas for the project. Our main concept for the exhibition was to jump start a dialogue on Singaporean Identity. Because personally I feel that our exhibition should be grounded in a Singaporean context because that would not be like other exhibitions that are just left in a limbo - those that you go to and don't strike a chord with you and are there just for the sake of being there and showcasing art.
Because that doesn't strike me as what art should be. I think that art should be the collective conscious or at least the social conscious of society. I don't think that art should merely be set in the works or dictated by the people who make it. I think that art should be a two-way dialogue between the artist and the audience and then between the audience themselves. I think the art works and shows that are the most meaningful are the ones that we end up talking about, or resonate the most with us. The ones that sit there purely for aesthetic or conceptual basis without ever touching a personal emotionally or at least stirring up some sort of dialogue is, to me, a failed exhibition.
Even though I think that I should not count my chickens too soon before they hatch, I think that as an artist, a curator and a student from SOTA, we should be the people to start the ball rolling. Even if it is a hard task that we will be undertaking.
I feel that this entire process is a great link to my Extended Essay and my Visual Arts Investigation Work Book research. I realise that I am not very drawn or stirred by big conceptual ideas of the West that my other peers are drawn to. I am more interested in a very personal and intrinsic ideas that are perhaps more Singaporean. This entire process has helped me find renewed purpose as an artist in Singapore. Perhaps through this exhibition
Because that doesn't strike me as what art should be. I think that art should be the collective conscious or at least the social conscious of society. I don't think that art should merely be set in the works or dictated by the people who make it. I think that art should be a two-way dialogue between the artist and the audience and then between the audience themselves. I think the art works and shows that are the most meaningful are the ones that we end up talking about, or resonate the most with us. The ones that sit there purely for aesthetic or conceptual basis without ever touching a personal emotionally or at least stirring up some sort of dialogue is, to me, a failed exhibition.
Even though I think that I should not count my chickens too soon before they hatch, I think that as an artist, a curator and a student from SOTA, we should be the people to start the ball rolling. Even if it is a hard task that we will be undertaking.
I feel that this entire process is a great link to my Extended Essay and my Visual Arts Investigation Work Book research. I realise that I am not very drawn or stirred by big conceptual ideas of the West that my other peers are drawn to. I am more interested in a very personal and intrinsic ideas that are perhaps more Singaporean. This entire process has helped me find renewed purpose as an artist in Singapore. Perhaps through this exhibition
Tuesday, 16 July 2013
NaNoWriMo 2
Being a part of the NaNoWriMo group has really challenged me to write more. Before I joined this CAS group I used to be very sporadic in my creative writing and pen down two or three sentences before I would just stop writing. Being a part of this CAS group has challenged me to be more creative in how I tackle creative writing and not just sit by waiting for inspiration to hit me.
I remember that we were tasked to engage a writing piece for the school's next LOOP edition and we came up with the idea to work around the sentence: "These are my friends" and structure our individual pieces around this central statement to submit it. I clearly remember being very unmotivated to writing anything down even though the deadline was looming because I did not feel inspired. When I reflect deeper, I think that problem arises in me a lot when I'm doing work. I tend to get distracted or effected emotionally when I'm stressed out with things around me and stop working entirely. It's a very bad habit that I've become aware of since I've started Year 5 and I'm trying very hard to build up discipline in these areas of my life.
When the deadline was due, I remember I was at a church camp and during one of the breaks I was lying on the floor with my email open and trying to pen some ideas down to send to Megan who was chasing us frantically for our pieces. I just typed out a rough idea of my piece before sending it to her because I remember that it was a first draft and that I didn't need for the work to be 'perfect'. I think that is another aspect of myself that I need to start changing. When I reflect deeper I think I get very disheartened when my works aren't produced to the standard of which I want and when I feel that it is a bad work, I loose motivation instead of making my work better.
I think there is an important point to note here, that I need to learn that I don't need to be such a perfectionist when it comes to making creative works and that I shouldn't let my emotions come in the way of my work and that this is applicable to all my areas of study.
Thursday, 11 July 2013
On People
I think I challenged myself a lot this GPS trip when I had to work with people. I generally really like the team, it's filled with very energetic and passionate people that I'm very thankful that I've gotten the opportunity to work with. But being an innately introverted person, sometimes I struggle with people on a whole because I tend to loose a lot of energy when I'm around people for too long and I get very frustrated very easily.
Working with people as I've always maintained for a while, has always been some of the greatest pains and joys of the pre-trip and of the trip. I got very frustrated having to mingle with group dynamics and tiny cliques that formed/ already existed within the group. I guess I was placed in a spot when I joined Cebu in OSL and GPS having no closer friends along with me. I think I would have just clung onto the said best friend for everything and not interacted much with everyone else, becoming exactly what I found the most frustrating. And I also found it very difficult to negotiate with people that I assumed were not pulling their weight during the pre-trip preparations and during the trip itself. I thought I was being pragmatic I suppose, I assumed that if we followed to what was the marker and criteria wanted that we would get our 'A' just like in our report books and be on our merry-way.
I re-learnt that when talking and interacting with people, there has to be the level of 'love' involved. When I mean love, I mean love in the holistic aspect, the love between brothers or sisters where understanding, acceptance and patience is involved. Even when the said brother or sister does things to annoy you or even hurt you, you move on from that and accept the person for who they are because everyone ultimately has a place and a role to play; it is also ultimately not up to us to decide whether they are of worth as well or not. And even when someone does something to hurt you, whether intentional or not, you have the strength to be the better person and move on from that.
I guess I was not very comfortable too, sharing parts that were very private and intimate to me with people that, although I schooled with, would never really want to let into myself. I guess I've always been wary of people and their words. Part of me does not want to admit that the friendlier exterior of me is a very big ruse that I use to divert people from my more private me. I think I've always been afraid of judgement and even know as I'm about to tell my teammates about my life, part of me still holds back. And to that I wonder why.
I did try to share things that really changed me when it came to my 6 milestones, but I didn't really go very deep into how it made me feel and I could feel the barrier that I put up between myself and everyone else when I shared with them, which is quite ironic really because I felt even more distant from my team mates than closer to them. I could empathize and relate to their sharings, but I think I wasn't truly being genuine with mine.
But it is honestly not because I've never been exposed to group sharings, because I have. But I think its the prior instances when I did share something very private and personal to me and that sharing was later used against me to blackmail me, in addition to a person telling me midway through my sharing that what I said was redundant and pointless even though it really meant a lot to me just made me feel very sad (I would use anguished but that's a bit too dramatic) inside
Seeing how everyone was very open and truthful even on the first night did help to break down a lot of fore-mentioned barriers and hesitations about opening up and being vulnerable to other people. But I think part of me that still holds back in terms of sharing with other people is just the fear of being judged and the fear of not being good enough that still plagues me very much even today.
I don't think I learnt anything new about people, but rather re-learnt it and remembered how to treat people right even though they may not appreciate it. I remember now that the people matter as much as the ideal and one cannot be compromised for the other. I also know now that I can apply this to when interact with everyone else in school and that I think I can move on from prior bad experiences when dealing with people.
Working with people as I've always maintained for a while, has always been some of the greatest pains and joys of the pre-trip and of the trip. I got very frustrated having to mingle with group dynamics and tiny cliques that formed/ already existed within the group. I guess I was placed in a spot when I joined Cebu in OSL and GPS having no closer friends along with me. I think I would have just clung onto the said best friend for everything and not interacted much with everyone else, becoming exactly what I found the most frustrating. And I also found it very difficult to negotiate with people that I assumed were not pulling their weight during the pre-trip preparations and during the trip itself. I thought I was being pragmatic I suppose, I assumed that if we followed to what was the marker and criteria wanted that we would get our 'A' just like in our report books and be on our merry-way.
I re-learnt that when talking and interacting with people, there has to be the level of 'love' involved. When I mean love, I mean love in the holistic aspect, the love between brothers or sisters where understanding, acceptance and patience is involved. Even when the said brother or sister does things to annoy you or even hurt you, you move on from that and accept the person for who they are because everyone ultimately has a place and a role to play; it is also ultimately not up to us to decide whether they are of worth as well or not. And even when someone does something to hurt you, whether intentional or not, you have the strength to be the better person and move on from that.
I guess I was not very comfortable too, sharing parts that were very private and intimate to me with people that, although I schooled with, would never really want to let into myself. I guess I've always been wary of people and their words. Part of me does not want to admit that the friendlier exterior of me is a very big ruse that I use to divert people from my more private me. I think I've always been afraid of judgement and even know as I'm about to tell my teammates about my life, part of me still holds back. And to that I wonder why.
I did try to share things that really changed me when it came to my 6 milestones, but I didn't really go very deep into how it made me feel and I could feel the barrier that I put up between myself and everyone else when I shared with them, which is quite ironic really because I felt even more distant from my team mates than closer to them. I could empathize and relate to their sharings, but I think I wasn't truly being genuine with mine.
But it is honestly not because I've never been exposed to group sharings, because I have. But I think its the prior instances when I did share something very private and personal to me and that sharing was later used against me to blackmail me, in addition to a person telling me midway through my sharing that what I said was redundant and pointless even though it really meant a lot to me just made me feel very sad (I would use anguished but that's a bit too dramatic) inside
Seeing how everyone was very open and truthful even on the first night did help to break down a lot of fore-mentioned barriers and hesitations about opening up and being vulnerable to other people. But I think part of me that still holds back in terms of sharing with other people is just the fear of being judged and the fear of not being good enough that still plagues me very much even today.
I don't think I learnt anything new about people, but rather re-learnt it and remembered how to treat people right even though they may not appreciate it. I remember now that the people matter as much as the ideal and one cannot be compromised for the other. I also know now that I can apply this to when interact with everyone else in school and that I think I can move on from prior bad experiences when dealing with people.
On Children
I don't remember when exactly this happened, but it was very early on in the trip. I remember holding a baby in my arms during one of the interaction periods. She was a small baby, probably no older than a year. After communicating with her mute caretaker, I discovered that the little girl belonged to a family of about 5? Because of language and communication barriers, I didn't manage to get the little girl's name. The caretaker, Christine, had tried to write it on my arm but I couldn't make out the letters she traced on my arm, so I gave up and didn't want to exasperate her by making her repeat it again (this brought me to my point on Language barriers but I'll write about that in a separate reflection) I remember holding that little child in my arms and thinking about the future that the baby would grow into and what of other children like her that will grow up in Brangays similar to Tap Tap.
I thought and even know I still think about the children who aren't growing up in Singapore; who aren't given the privellege of complusory National Education and who aren't like us with the convenience and modernity of Singapore. I thought about the potential that would probably go to waste because of a lack of public education being enforced in Cebu. About teachers that don't turn up for lessons and just let the kids roam about and wasting their time after they walked 3 hours to attend school. I think about students and people that fall through the cracks and aren't caught by safety nets like here in Singapore, even though we may not be the 'best', there are still systems being put into place to ensure we do end up somewhere.
This trip and the people that I have met have taught me to value my education, to value that opportunity to let my voice be heard; and with the knowledge that I am, to some extent, indebted to the society that had gifted me this opportunity when they pay taxes to fund my education.
Working with Share-a-Child and the kids here in Tap tap really made me think about children and empowering them in a sense also empowers us. Because children are the next generation and it is in their hands that we place our futures as well. Being given the opportunity to work with them also makes me want to continue serving as well and in a way re-affirms my passion when I do work with people and with children.
This trip and the people that I have met have taught me to value my education, to value that opportunity to let my voice be heard; and with the knowledge that I am, to some extent, indebted to the society that had gifted me this opportunity when they pay taxes to fund my education.
Working with Share-a-Child and the kids here in Tap tap really made me think about children and empowering them in a sense also empowers us. Because children are the next generation and it is in their hands that we place our futures as well. Being given the opportunity to work with them also makes me want to continue serving as well and in a way re-affirms my passion when I do work with people and with children.
Wednesday, 3 July 2013
On Accounting and Currency
Another task that I undertook during GPS
was being the group’s accountant and I’ve learnt very important lessons on
accounting and currency.
Being the accountant meant that I worked
with Mr Ong almost every other night to take accounts of the group’s
expenditure. I knew about the Singaporean Dollar to Filipino Peso exchange rate
(1 SGD to 30 PHP) but I never realized how ‘powerful’ that exchange rate made
us, it enabled us. Right now, I’m wondering if that is truly a good thing. A
few figures stuck with me, one was the 25kg pig that we bought for the Barangay
to have Lechon Baboy (Roasted Pig), it was glorious feast during our closing
ceremony of the arts camp and we ate that pig for probably 4 days straight
after. The pig cost about 4000 PHP converting that it’s about 133.33 SGD it
does not seem like a lot us but it was a real treat for them.
The same was also true for our groceries
lists, that most of the time reached staggering numbers in the thousands. If I
converted all the numbers and figures in Pesos to Singaporean dollars never
seemed like a lot of money to me. Our biggest grocery bill that came up to
14,630p is only close to 500 dollars and that bill fed close to 60 people or
even more for about 3-4 days. This was also true when we provided the kids with
stationary and materials for art or when we bought paint for our mural project.
Our currency probably empowered us to make more ambitious decisions in our
planning and execution. I also noticed that whenever we were confronted with a
problem that required us to change our plans we didn’t have any qualms on
logistics because we had the means to acquire them. I’m not sure if this
impeded in how creatively we problem solved and how effectively we worked with
all that we had already; But I’m just wondering now if our Singaporean
mentality to problem-solve is ultimately influenced by the currency that we
hold in our hands and not in engaging the people around us.
Perhaps this might be the same for people
in every other Capitalist country. We are wired to make our decisions around
our money and I feel that sometimes when problems arise one of the first
questions we ask is about our budget. One cannot deny the importance of money
as a means to reach out to the masses at the same time I’m very certain that it
is not the only means at our disposal. But there has been a shift in that focus
I realize, our GPS group grown in the sense that our budget becomes quite
secondary, it is the means but not the end. Throughout our planning and
conducting the arts camp, we focused on the kids and how we could improve our program to benefit them.
I thought that this was a very heartening shift from the material and physical to the emotional and inter-personal relations between people. At the same time too, we as a team became more bonded and aware of each individual's actions and well-being. And in that sense I would say that unconsciously we did learn from the villagers in Tap Tap, we learnt to be accountable to the people around us.
I noticed that the villagers from Tap tap were more focused on the inter-personal relations than the material. It's quite paradoxical in a sense. We who have so much, don't 'value' what we have as much as them. What struck me was the way they cherished every single thing that was given to them, even to a point of almost possessiveness, because they valued what was given to them. Which again struck me because in Singapore, we are well attuned to people moving in and out of our lives, we become somewhat desensitized to acquaintances that we make and perhaps after a while, we forget about them.
But the people in Tap tap were different, they valued the friendship that we had with them even though we had not seen each other in months. From their warm hugs to welcome us back to Tap tap to the tears and hand-written letters when we left, it made me think about the fact that we did make an impact into their lives. And ultimately we do every-time we interact with someone, we leave our marks on other people, therefore we have to be accountable to them.
I thought that this was a very heartening shift from the material and physical to the emotional and inter-personal relations between people. At the same time too, we as a team became more bonded and aware of each individual's actions and well-being. And in that sense I would say that unconsciously we did learn from the villagers in Tap Tap, we learnt to be accountable to the people around us.
I noticed that the villagers from Tap tap were more focused on the inter-personal relations than the material. It's quite paradoxical in a sense. We who have so much, don't 'value' what we have as much as them. What struck me was the way they cherished every single thing that was given to them, even to a point of almost possessiveness, because they valued what was given to them. Which again struck me because in Singapore, we are well attuned to people moving in and out of our lives, we become somewhat desensitized to acquaintances that we make and perhaps after a while, we forget about them.
But the people in Tap tap were different, they valued the friendship that we had with them even though we had not seen each other in months. From their warm hugs to welcome us back to Tap tap to the tears and hand-written letters when we left, it made me think about the fact that we did make an impact into their lives. And ultimately we do every-time we interact with someone, we leave our marks on other people, therefore we have to be accountable to them.
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