At this current point, I am beginning to be very stressed up about the Art Cart Project. Our team has been dragging on this CAS project for a very long time and since our last meeting that was close to 5 months ago, we haven't gotten anything accomplished.
Our previous problem still stands, Jia Cheng, who is our leader, has not been delegating responsibilities to me or Wei Qi and for close to 4 months has been pretty silent on this. I know that this is his project, but we have to have some urgency and get something concrete drafted out before the terms come to an end. Wei Qi and I were thinking of taking over this project from him, since he has shown the inability to deliver on his part. We have made some preliminary plans, but as it its the end of Term 3, we have a lot more work on our plates than before. Also, part of me feels as though Jia Cheng should be taking charge of his own project and as much as I want to be a good subordinate and help him do the work. He has to know that as a leader, he does have responsibilities and expectations placed on him, so he must be accountable to them.
As much as he wants to complain about having work to chase I think it is important to note that Wei Qi and I have work on our ends too. We are trying to keep afloat as it is and personally I find that bad time management skills and the inability to keep ahead of your assignments is very irresponsible. The fact that his irresponsibility means that Wei Qi and I have to cover for him and take over for him is ridiculous. Although we know that engaging an external contact for CAS immediately equates to expectations being placed on our shoulders, part of me thinks if I am really doing this for the sake of service, or to uphold the contact and the reputation of SOTA.
I wonder if what I am doing is actually right and if this mindset of mine at this point is the right one to adopt. The mindset of "just getting it over and done with", because such mindsets like that are very apparent in the work that is produced by us. Even though we want to say that we are doing this for the sake of service, are we really? Are we just doing this for the pure sake of maintaining a contact that might benefit us later?
Additionally, as I think about this act of service, I also think about the purpose of service and why we do serve. Around the globe, youngsters like me are engaging in acts of service but are these all genuine? Do we do service because we want to? Or do we do it because it is expected of us? Some people only engage in acts of service because that is what the universities want to see that in us. But part of me always thinks that service should genuinely be from us and not because it is an expectation that we fulfill.
Tuesday 27 August 2013
Monday 26 August 2013
Climbing Club #3
We've been climbing twice a week now, once for ExE lessons and another for our club meetings on Saturday. I realize that I changed physically since I've begun climbing more regularly, my forearms are stronger and my sense of balance has improved. My arms have gotten stronger and I can hold onto the wall for a longer time.
But at this current point I think that there is a limit to how much 'brute strength' I can put into climbing before real technique comes in. I find that I have easier climbs when I make use of my leg muscles more and switch my weight around, instead of focusing on my arms to pull me up. I've learnt that it's about efficient climbing and not about the hard strength of pulling yourself up the entire way. I've learnt how to make use of the wall features to climb. Using the rock-shoes, I can 'smear' the wall and use that as a foothold instead of just relying on the tiles. I've learnt to make the most out of the opportunities being presented to me and even make them if they aren't there. I can parallel this a lot to instances of real life, when opportunities aren't as apparent, but you have to make them happen for you if you want to move forward.
Also, thinking about what Mrs Wong said the other day about rock-climbing being a solitary sport, but this is contrasted against the fact that we are working as a team to support one another made me think about how I could relate this a lot to the IB and SOTA life in general. We are all on our individual paths, each path has its own problems or techniques to clear them. No one can climb the wall for you, or solve the problem you have before you. They can offer support and maybe guidance to how you might clear the wall, but how you get there is up to you. But it is very comforting to be in a group together and know that for each struggle you have, someone too is going through something similar and their support of your efforts is really endearing.I think that the whole team aspect of this CAS group makes me more motivated to climb, because I know that there are people there to support me when I climb and people to bounce ideas off of when I encounter problems. The team has helped to keep me more motivated to climb and with their support I've learnt to overcome a lot more walls, even those I thought I wouldn't be able to overcome before.
Additionally, I was also thinking about what Mrs Wong posed to us about doing an easy wall well or a hard one with difficulties. I think that if you asked me this a few months ago, I would say to do the easy wall well. I think it is because we, as people, have a tendency to want to do things for recognition or for other people's praise. We do seemingly hard things well, when in actual fact they are easier than imagined. But through my growth in my CAS activities and projects. I find that this aspect of me is changing, I find that I would rather do a hard wall that has a lot of difficulties and challenge myself, than do something that might be easy and do it well.
Because I think that we will become stagnant if we don't continuously challenge ourselves and push ourselves to work out of our comfort zones. I've learnt that if we keep staying within our comfort zones, we get stuck in being comfortable we don't look towards pushing ourselves to improve. I think that as an IB student, we as IB learners should push ourselves and challenge ourselves, because in doing so is the only way that we will grow.
But at this current point I think that there is a limit to how much 'brute strength' I can put into climbing before real technique comes in. I find that I have easier climbs when I make use of my leg muscles more and switch my weight around, instead of focusing on my arms to pull me up. I've learnt that it's about efficient climbing and not about the hard strength of pulling yourself up the entire way. I've learnt how to make use of the wall features to climb. Using the rock-shoes, I can 'smear' the wall and use that as a foothold instead of just relying on the tiles. I've learnt to make the most out of the opportunities being presented to me and even make them if they aren't there. I can parallel this a lot to instances of real life, when opportunities aren't as apparent, but you have to make them happen for you if you want to move forward.
Also, thinking about what Mrs Wong said the other day about rock-climbing being a solitary sport, but this is contrasted against the fact that we are working as a team to support one another made me think about how I could relate this a lot to the IB and SOTA life in general. We are all on our individual paths, each path has its own problems or techniques to clear them. No one can climb the wall for you, or solve the problem you have before you. They can offer support and maybe guidance to how you might clear the wall, but how you get there is up to you. But it is very comforting to be in a group together and know that for each struggle you have, someone too is going through something similar and their support of your efforts is really endearing.I think that the whole team aspect of this CAS group makes me more motivated to climb, because I know that there are people there to support me when I climb and people to bounce ideas off of when I encounter problems. The team has helped to keep me more motivated to climb and with their support I've learnt to overcome a lot more walls, even those I thought I wouldn't be able to overcome before.
Additionally, I was also thinking about what Mrs Wong posed to us about doing an easy wall well or a hard one with difficulties. I think that if you asked me this a few months ago, I would say to do the easy wall well. I think it is because we, as people, have a tendency to want to do things for recognition or for other people's praise. We do seemingly hard things well, when in actual fact they are easier than imagined. But through my growth in my CAS activities and projects. I find that this aspect of me is changing, I find that I would rather do a hard wall that has a lot of difficulties and challenge myself, than do something that might be easy and do it well.
Because I think that we will become stagnant if we don't continuously challenge ourselves and push ourselves to work out of our comfort zones. I've learnt that if we keep staying within our comfort zones, we get stuck in being comfortable we don't look towards pushing ourselves to improve. I think that as an IB student, we as IB learners should push ourselves and challenge ourselves, because in doing so is the only way that we will grow.
Friday 23 August 2013
UniFEM #2
We submitted our proposal and it was turned down, after discussing the matter with Selma, we figured that our proposal was good, but there were a lot of areas that we needed to work on like the planning and engagement with the people we are going to invite over as well as the planning for such a short time frame. Even though I am disappointed that our event isn't pulling through, I think that this came at a pretty good juncture. At Term 3, where all the assessments and tests are coming in, I don't think we would have a lot of time to plan and organize a proper event. We would be too messy, running around and getting things done we wouldn't be able to work on a good event for everyone. Additionally, I also think our event would not pull through with the amount and quality of our manpower. Because I think at this point in time, people are more concerned with their studies than with CAS itself.
Mr Yai suggested that we start on small scale events, like setting up an information booth during lunch to educate SOTA about the issues of Sex-Trafficking and Violence against Women. I think that the small-scale information booth would be better than jumping into a big scale event when we don't know so much about event planning. I think that this is another area that I can work on, learning how to engage people and how to plan proper public events that will engage people. This would be a good springboard to build our foundation of public event planning first, before we plan a large scale event for 2014.
I think that this is a good wake-up call for us to be more mindful in our planning and be a lot more aware of the time-periods where we set events. Because what dates that we set aside on paper may not be implemented in a real-life scenario.
Also, I am very concerned that I do not know much about the Human-Trafficking situation in countries like Semarang, Indonesia and surprisingly even in Singapore. It surprises me that there are situations like this even in Singapore, but this makes me think of the Sex-Slave situation in Sweden too. I should probably read up more about such issues because this relates to me a lot as a female who, thankfully, has never had to confront these things first-hand in my life. Perhaps that this could be a situation or issue that I could further develop when I graduate.
Mr Yai suggested that we start on small scale events, like setting up an information booth during lunch to educate SOTA about the issues of Sex-Trafficking and Violence against Women. I think that the small-scale information booth would be better than jumping into a big scale event when we don't know so much about event planning. I think that this is another area that I can work on, learning how to engage people and how to plan proper public events that will engage people. This would be a good springboard to build our foundation of public event planning first, before we plan a large scale event for 2014.
I think that this is a good wake-up call for us to be more mindful in our planning and be a lot more aware of the time-periods where we set events. Because what dates that we set aside on paper may not be implemented in a real-life scenario.
Also, I am very concerned that I do not know much about the Human-Trafficking situation in countries like Semarang, Indonesia and surprisingly even in Singapore. It surprises me that there are situations like this even in Singapore, but this makes me think of the Sex-Slave situation in Sweden too. I should probably read up more about such issues because this relates to me a lot as a female who, thankfully, has never had to confront these things first-hand in my life. Perhaps that this could be a situation or issue that I could further develop when I graduate.
Tuesday 20 August 2013
Singapore Memory Project #3
We just had our meeting after close to a month of not having meetings. We are almost done putting the final touches on our eBook on Goodman and Shruti asked us if we wanted to stay on with this project or stop. Initially, I thought I would stop this CAS project and move onto something else, but when I reflect deeper, I think that I haven't really been putting in my full to this commitment and I feel committed to at least see through another project well this time.
If I reflect more on my initiation with the SMP eBook project, it was not as if I wasn't doing anything. I was doing things, but it was probably the bare minimum that Shruti or Hsin Yee was asking from me. As I look back on this, I don't think that I was doing anything wrong. I did what was allocated to me and I did finish it in the end. The problem is, I don't think I was doing the task at hand to the best of my ability and taking this project as far as I could to help out.
That is probably something I should change, because this endeavor, to collect Singaporean History and our local history is something that is very important to me. I also think that it is something of great value to preserve the stories of the past so that the future generations have something to look back on.
People have asked me before why I study History and why do I feel so strongly towards our local history. I will admit that it may not really provide people with a 'better life' like the furthering of science and medicine, but history does have it's importance.
I remember that Mr Yeo gave us a Theory of Knowledge lecture on History and said that the importance of history is that it gives everyone a greater sense of belonging. History itself, provides people with roots and at this juncture where were are so undefined and constantly speaking about a being a country that has no roots. It should be important to document and protect our national stories. Because it provides the people with important anchors that allows them to have a sense of belonging.
It makes me think about the fact that more and more youths do not have very strong nationalist sentiments towards Singapore and feel no qualms against leaving as compared to other countries like Philippines or Vietnam. It may be due to the fact that we don't have much history together and that's maybe all the more reason why this project is important.
If I reflect more on my initiation with the SMP eBook project, it was not as if I wasn't doing anything. I was doing things, but it was probably the bare minimum that Shruti or Hsin Yee was asking from me. As I look back on this, I don't think that I was doing anything wrong. I did what was allocated to me and I did finish it in the end. The problem is, I don't think I was doing the task at hand to the best of my ability and taking this project as far as I could to help out.
That is probably something I should change, because this endeavor, to collect Singaporean History and our local history is something that is very important to me. I also think that it is something of great value to preserve the stories of the past so that the future generations have something to look back on.
People have asked me before why I study History and why do I feel so strongly towards our local history. I will admit that it may not really provide people with a 'better life' like the furthering of science and medicine, but history does have it's importance.
I remember that Mr Yeo gave us a Theory of Knowledge lecture on History and said that the importance of history is that it gives everyone a greater sense of belonging. History itself, provides people with roots and at this juncture where were are so undefined and constantly speaking about a being a country that has no roots. It should be important to document and protect our national stories. Because it provides the people with important anchors that allows them to have a sense of belonging.
It makes me think about the fact that more and more youths do not have very strong nationalist sentiments towards Singapore and feel no qualms against leaving as compared to other countries like Philippines or Vietnam. It may be due to the fact that we don't have much history together and that's maybe all the more reason why this project is important.
The Blind Set #1
I think the hardest thing that I have to confront when working with my Theatre-major classmates when I am a Visual Artist, is our clashing ideals and wants for the project.
Throughout the course of working with them, I found myself having to hold back and listen to what they want in their set. To me it was very difficult to come to a consensus with them because as a Visual Artist, I am very used to coming up with my own ideas and implementing things according my own wants and fancies. When acting out on this set, I had to remind myself that I am only a worker here and that someone else is in charge of the idea. Despite my liberty to provide input, the overall "look" of the set should be decided upon by the director, Diego.
Through this experience, I had to challenge myself to work with people from other majors and to work collaboratively with them to produce a final work together. I also found it very difficult to work in making the actual set because the team handed the project over to us very close to their show week. Although we promised to deliver them a proper set, I think it was very unprofessional of them to hand it over to me and Ching Yi a week before the show and expect us to deliver it to them. Also, I think that if they wanted us to deliver to them, I think they should have given us the breakdown of their sets before-hand and the measurements of the flats we were using. Because we did not have the measurements and breakdown of the set, we were delayed in making our end of the set. I am not trying to discredit their efforts and claim that they have not done to deliver on their end, but I think that if one was to engage external members to collaborate with you, I think that one should have all aspects covered. In the end, I think I managed to get a plan out and we were able to finish the set.
I also had to consider many aspects that I don't normally consider when I make an artwork, such as lighting and whether it would make people uncomfortable and dizzy. Because compared to an artwork, I learnt that a theatre piece involved with a putting the audience through an experience. So things like audience reception is more emphasized, compared to Visual Art.
Throughout the course of working with them, I found myself having to hold back and listen to what they want in their set. To me it was very difficult to come to a consensus with them because as a Visual Artist, I am very used to coming up with my own ideas and implementing things according my own wants and fancies. When acting out on this set, I had to remind myself that I am only a worker here and that someone else is in charge of the idea. Despite my liberty to provide input, the overall "look" of the set should be decided upon by the director, Diego.
Through this experience, I had to challenge myself to work with people from other majors and to work collaboratively with them to produce a final work together. I also found it very difficult to work in making the actual set because the team handed the project over to us very close to their show week. Although we promised to deliver them a proper set, I think it was very unprofessional of them to hand it over to me and Ching Yi a week before the show and expect us to deliver it to them. Also, I think that if they wanted us to deliver to them, I think they should have given us the breakdown of their sets before-hand and the measurements of the flats we were using. Because we did not have the measurements and breakdown of the set, we were delayed in making our end of the set. I am not trying to discredit their efforts and claim that they have not done to deliver on their end, but I think that if one was to engage external members to collaborate with you, I think that one should have all aspects covered. In the end, I think I managed to get a plan out and we were able to finish the set.
I also had to consider many aspects that I don't normally consider when I make an artwork, such as lighting and whether it would make people uncomfortable and dizzy. Because compared to an artwork, I learnt that a theatre piece involved with a putting the audience through an experience. So things like audience reception is more emphasized, compared to Visual Art.
Spoken Word Poetry CAS #1
Our first session today was quite unexpected, for me. Some juniors turned up without emailing me, so I had to improvise another session on the spot. I went through the ground rules and expectations of the group like:
We covered basic expectations of the group and the fact that members will be expected to perform for the upcoming Lit Night. We also covered our writing styles and what we write poetry about. I gave them some homework to work on the performing aspect of Spoken Word, they'll be performing a mini piece during our next session.
I think the first session went fine though, they were quite responsive to the prompts I gave them and quite open to sharing about their work after. After working as a leader for OSL and GPS Cebu, I found it in myself to work more effectively and think on my feet faster. I was able to come up with pretty decent prompts in less than a minute, so I'm quite proud of myself. Also after the session when I asked for honest feedback, they told me they learnt quite a bit about Spoken Word and a little more about the people they were going to be journeying with. I also made an effort to apologise to them if they felt if they wasted their time. Because as much as I can say I didn't know the number of people I was planning the session for, I am accountable to making sure they learn something and they aren't wasting their time. As a leader, I think I should put more effort into planning a better session for them next week and not reply on spontaneous planning to make my sessions work. I also got their contact numbers and emails so meeting timings and information will be disseminated faster.
Member Expectations
- Perform for one of the upcoming Lit Nights (CAS outcome for Year 5s)
- Bring a notebook/ have a folder on your Mac solely dedicated to the group. (Quite flexible with this one, just make sure it’s accessible and that you have a platform to write when we must)
- Be open & honest in sharings.
- Provide constructive feedback and criticism: substantiate feelings if any i.e. if a piece didn’t strike you, provide why. If it did, say why.
- It’s okay to not be good at Spoken Word when you first try it, ultimately we’re all here to learn with each other
We covered basic expectations of the group and the fact that members will be expected to perform for the upcoming Lit Night. We also covered our writing styles and what we write poetry about. I gave them some homework to work on the performing aspect of Spoken Word, they'll be performing a mini piece during our next session.
I think the first session went fine though, they were quite responsive to the prompts I gave them and quite open to sharing about their work after. After working as a leader for OSL and GPS Cebu, I found it in myself to work more effectively and think on my feet faster. I was able to come up with pretty decent prompts in less than a minute, so I'm quite proud of myself. Also after the session when I asked for honest feedback, they told me they learnt quite a bit about Spoken Word and a little more about the people they were going to be journeying with. I also made an effort to apologise to them if they felt if they wasted their time. Because as much as I can say I didn't know the number of people I was planning the session for, I am accountable to making sure they learn something and they aren't wasting their time. As a leader, I think I should put more effort into planning a better session for them next week and not reply on spontaneous planning to make my sessions work. I also got their contact numbers and emails so meeting timings and information will be disseminated faster.
I tried to emphasis the fact that we are here to learn together most of all because I didn't want a very competitive and un-conducive atmosphere for them to write in. Especially because, I didn't want to foster that kind of environment to permeate when we people come together to write. I am very adverse to the whole idea of making the whole club have a competitive atmosphere because I think that stops a person's creativity from flowing because they feel like they're being judged.
As a Spoken Word Performance Poet, I think that this session has really pushed me to step out of my comfort zone. Because I am too, not very comfortable with public speaking. The announcement to call members was especially nerve-wracking for me because of my fear of public speaking. Personally, I think that even the other members, like Almira, Gwen, Diego, Alina, Rachel Chew and Sophie are better speakers than I am. I also find it quite ironic because they're looking to me for advice but sometimes I feel like I'm not the best person to give them advice because I'm not that good at Performance Poetry, but I am very interested in it? As a Performance Poet, I think I should learn how to be comfortable in my own skin and comfortable under public scrutiny when I perform. I know that I have a lot of space to grow into, with big shoes to fill and a lot more to learn, but I am confident that we can do it as a group.
At this point I'm kind of doubting my ability as a leader and a performance poet because I feel very intimidated by the people around me who are infinitely better speakers than I am, but I think I should try and learn to be more comfortable with myself.
Monday 12 August 2013
Rock climbing
Today we had our level one belaying course. We were tasked with learning how to belay our partners, learning the different aspects of climbing, the belay calls and the belaying technique.
I found the belaying technique the most difficult to grasp. As i reflect I'm a much better climber than belayer. But I want to change that as I move forward, because what our instructor Sig taught us was that even if we are good climbers it means nothing if your belaying technique is unsafe: because it would mean someone's life in your hands.
I found learning how to set up the ropes and belaying device most difficult. I struggled a lot to grasp the techniques of of the ropes and the belaying device because I want being very patient wit the device. As I'm reflecting, I find that maybe I was trying to cut steps a bit because we learnt this before. When I was more patient, I found that the ropes were much easier to manage than I initially thought.
When I'm thinking now, I think the safety aspect of the climbing really scares me. Because its very similar to having someone's life in your hands when you belay the person. One wrong move could render the person grievously injured and harmed permanently. I think this makes me a lot more cautious as a belayer when I have my friend's life in my hands. I think if I continue to keep this aspect of safety in mind it would probably make me a safer belayer and minimize any unnecessary risks when it comes to belaying.
Sig also taught us to treat the equipment that we are using with respect. We shouldn't step on the ropes, as it would introduce tiny particles into the rope that may cause it to break in the future. We should also not run with the climbing shoes as it will wear out the rubber and may damage the climbing shoes early. Our instructor taught us to value our equipment when we are using it, because all these things are going to help us save our lives and that isn't something we should take lightly.
Sig also taught us to treat the equipment that we are using with respect. We shouldn't step on the ropes, as it would introduce tiny particles into the rope that may cause it to break in the future. We should also not run with the climbing shoes as it will wear out the rubber and may damage the climbing shoes early. Our instructor taught us to value our equipment when we are using it, because all these things are going to help us save our lives and that isn't something we should take lightly.
I also learnt more techniques to climbing today. Which really helped me refine my climbing technique for that I am very grateful to my instructors Sig and Daryl. They taught us not to be afraid of the wall and that we should trust in our abilities and strengths while we were climbing. I think that the whole idea of trusting in my abilities can be applied to real life and when I'm confronting my academic struggles. I think that I should trust that if I have the abilities, if I put my mind to it, I will be able to succeed and eventually reach the top.
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